How I Became A Warrior

文章作者：Jeff Foster

翻译：钱维德

Once, I ran from fear

so fear controlled me.

Until I learned to hold fear like a newborn.

Listen to it, but not give in.

Honor it, but not worship it.

Fear could not stop me anymore.

I walked with courage into the storm.

I still have fear,

but it does not have me.

以前，我躲恐惧

因此，恐惧控制了我

直到我学会把它像个新生婴儿抱着

倾听它，但不听从它

敬重它但，不敬拜它

恐惧再也无法阻止我

我带着勇气走进风暴里

我还是会有恐惧

但它并不掌控我

Once, I was ashamed of who I was.

I invited shame into my heart.

I let it burn.

It told me, “I am only trying to protect your vulnerability”.

I thanked shame dearly,

and stepped into life anyway,

unashamed, with shame as a lover.

以前，我觉得自己很羞愧

然后我邀请羞愧进入我的心

我让它燃烧

它告诉我：“我只是想保护你的脆弱”

我深深地感谢羞愧

不受羞愧影响地走进生命

带着这个羞愧爱人

Once, I had great sadness

buried deep inside.

I invited it to come out and play.

I wept oceans. My tear ducts ran dry.

And I found joy right there.

Right at the core of my sorrow.

It was heartbreak that taught me how to love.

以前，我有很大的悲伤

深埋在内心

我邀请它出来玩

我哭干了一个海洋的泪

之后就找到了喜悦

就在我悲戚的核心

心碎教会了我怎么去爱

Once, I had anxiety.

A mind that wouldn’t stop.

Thoughts that wouldn’t be silent.

So I stopped trying to silence them.

And I dropped out of the mind.

and into the Earth.

Into the mud.

Where I was held strong

like a tree, unshakeable, safe.

以前，我有焦虑

那是一个从不停止的头脑

安静不下来的思绪

因此我不再想要让它安静

然后我跌出头脑

跌进大地

进入土壤

它把我抓得牢牢的

我像棵树，屹立不摇、很稳固

Once, anger burned in the depths.

I call anger into the light of myself. 

I felt its shocking power.

I let my heart pound and my blood boil.

listened to it, finally.

And it screamed, “Respect yourself fiercely now!”.

“Speaking your truth with passion!”.

“Say no when you mean no!”.

“Walk you path with courage!“.

“Let no one speak for you!”.

Anger became an honest friend.

A truthful guide.

A beautiful wild child.

以前，内心深处有怒火

我让我的光召唤这愤怒

我感受到它震慑的威力

我让心撞击让血液沸腾

终于听到了它的声音

它呐喊着：“狠狠地尊重你自己！“

”热情地说出你的真相！“

”想说不时就说不！“

”带着勇气走你的路！“

”没人能决定你的事！“

愤怒变成了一个诚实的朋友

一个真实的引导

一个美丽狂野的孩子

Once, loneliness cut deep.

I tried to distract and numb myself. 

Ran to people and places and things.

Even pretend I was “happy”.

But soon I could not run anymore.

And I tumbled into the heart of loneliness.

And I died and was reborn

into an exquisite solitude and stillness.

That connected me to all things.

So I was not lonely, but alone with All Life.

My heart One with all other hearts.

以前，孤单深深地啃噬着我

我试着转移注意和麻痹自己

找人找地方找事情躲它

甚至假装我很“快乐”

但很快的，我再也躲不掉了

我掉进孤单的中心

我死了又重生

孤单变成了细腻的单独和宁静

我因而连结上万物

然后我不再是孤单，而是单独地和万有在一起

我的一颗心连上了所有其它的心

Once, I ran from difficult feelings.

Now, They are my advisors, confidants, friends,

and they all have a home in me,

and they all belong and have dignity.

I am sensitive, soft, fragile,

my arms wrapped around all my inner children.

And in my sensitivity, power.

In my fragility, an unshakeable Presence.

以前，我逃避负向情绪

现在，它们是我的导师、知己、密友

它们在我内在都有个家

它们都被我归属被我敬重

我敏感、柔软、脆弱

我的手臂拥抱着我的内在小孩

在我的敏感里是力量

在我的脆弱里是如实的临在

In the depths of my wounds,

in what I had named “darkness”,

I found a blazing Light

that guides me now in battle.

I became a warrior when I turned towards myself.

And started listening.

在我伤口的深处

那个我称之为“黑暗”的地方

我找到了一道炽烈的光芒

引领我现在的心灵战场

当我面对我的内在，我成了一个战士

开始聆听